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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Play Nice

I've been cleaning out files and wrapping up some projects. By the time you read this, my first 3 audio books may be available on Audible, Amazon, and iTunes.

The file cleaning always takes place after finishing a book. I found an article I had saved a long time ago, and it still made me laugh – somewhat hysterically, I might add.

From a software vendor’s newsletter, the focus of the article was to encourage us to "be nice" to our computer equipment. The article alleged that some people battered their computer. Oh, no. Horrors! Say it isn’t so!

Computer Battering? Horrors!

Actually, I’m surprised more people don’t fling the frustrating pieces of metal and plastic through the nearest window. I’ve been sorely tempted at times, but the closest I came was flinging a wireless keyboard onto the floor. A few times.

Why? Because the darn thing kept losing the signal. I’d be typing along, look up, and see that a letter or two in every word was missing. Back I’d go to correct. Eventually, I was so frustrated that I slammed it to the floor. After I’d cooled down a bit, I connected a wired keyboard and moved on.

Universal Law of Productivity

It seems to be one of those universal laws that the more behind on a project you are; the more things go wrong – like that old humorous saying you see on desk signs: "The faster I go; the behinder I get."

Sure, I know that it’s not smart to vent your anger and frustration on an expensive piece of equipment, but it sure can be satisfying! However, I don’t make a habit of destroying anything that I paid hard-earned money for. Actually, that’s the one and only time I ever did that. I was on deadline and at the end of my rope. I rejoiced in dropping the remains into the recycle bin.

I’ll take Eric Porterfield for the defense. Mr. Porterfield said: "The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there’s no law against whacking them around a little."

If you've ever been at the end of your rope because of computer hardware or software problems, just remember these wise words from journalist Mitch Ratcliffe: “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”

Post Script

Hey, I'll take tequila over computers any day.

(Joan Reeves is a Kindle bestselling author of romantic comedy. Her books are available at all major ebook sellers. Beginning in August, you will also find them as audio books at Audible.com, Amazon, and iTunes. For more information, please visit SlingWords or http://www.JoanReeves.com.)


  1. Joan, love this post. Pass the tequila. Computers are frustrating, but typewriters (shows my age) were worse. I had wanted a wireless mouse, but think now I'll stick with the one I have. I make enough typos without electronic interference. ☺

  2. Good morning, Caroline! Thanks. Glad you liked PLAY NICE. Oh, I remember typewriters. Typed my first book on one. So much easier now. I've never had a problem with a wireless mouse, but keyboards? Agh!

  3. What a fun post, Joan. I had my share of computer problems, from the keyboard that jumps letters, to the virus that eats your files, and the worst the big blackout crash. Thank God I am blessed with a computer guru for husband and I have an infinite faith in him. He'd managed to get me out of all troubles, although he claims that I should start learning to better care for my faithful companion--the computer-- and regularly clean it. BTW I typed my master degree thesis on a typewriter and my PH.D. thesis, on a first generation Apple that took ten minutes to save, and blackouted every time my daughter plugged in her hair dryer. You can imagine the tension, my thesis or her hair.

    1. Thanks, Mona.

      When I think of all the stuff I once had to type on a computer from law briefs to books, I'm even more thankful for word processing programs.

  4. I can identify with this sentiment. :) I've occasionally wanted to toss the computer against a wall but never done so. My poor husband regularly threatens GBH to his computer, but I usually manage to talk him off his ledge.

    1. Thankfully hubby and I usually don't have computer issues at the same time, if we did, we'd probably have a bonfire and torch the insanity-producing machines.

  5. I truly understand! When my computer has issues, I go bonkers! I don't understand computers, but I LUV my Mac! I tell her that every day and hope she believes me!

  6. I know what you mean. My computer doesn't always play nice with me. I hate it when I'm typing along and I lose the signal. No fair!

    Morgan Mandel