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Monday, February 11, 2013

What NOT to Give Your Valentine by Joan Reeves

Okay, all you guys and gals out there who are looking for love in all the right places (I hope), Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

Here's a little advice to guide you in shopping for a gift for your beloved.

Things NOT To Give

1. A kitchen appliance.

2. A diet book.

3. Music or movie that is your taste, not your Valentine's.

4. Men: never give your wife/girlfriend any apparel that your mother would be likely to wear. Women: the same holds true for giving your guy something your father would wear.

5. A nighty so slutty that your woman feels ridiculous in it.

6. An exercise machine - unless your Valentine really wants one.

7. Men: never take her to Hooter's for Valentine's. Women: don't take your guy to some artsy-fartsy tearoom or other female haunt.

8. Two tickets to any event that only you can really appreciate with the thought that if your Valentine doesn't go, you can take your best friend.

9. An I. O. U. and a note that says you couldn't think of anything. Come on. You'll get more respect if you just admit that you forgot.

10. Any gift that hasn't been wrapped. Don't ever, never, give something in the store bag. What's the matter? Don't you care enough to take a few minutes to wrap it or or pay a couple of bucks for gift wrapping service at the store?

Post Script

You've always heard that it's the thought that counts. So in each of the above, what is that thought?

(Joan Reeves writes funny, sexy Contemporary Romance. Her books are available at all major ebook sellers with audio editions available at Amazon, Audible.com, and iTunes. Joan publishes Writing Hacks, a free subscription newsletter for writers, and Wordplay, a free subscription newsletter for readers. Info? Visit Joan's Blog, SlingWords.


  1. That was funny, yet there are some who will violate those rules!

    Actually, I'm a practical person. Flowers are pretty, but then they're gone. I'd rather have something that will last a long time!

    Morgan Mandel

    1. Hi, Morgan, I trained my family to give me rose bushes or something that can be planted in the yard since I do love flowers.

      Happy Valentine's!

  2. I have actually asked for, and been overjoyed to get, appliances as "personal" gifts. My hubby bought me a mini-shop vac for Christmas, to my great delight; my in-laws bought me one of those wonderful top-notch Kitchen Aid mixers a couple of years ago and I use it every single week. The irony of this is my mother always said, "Appliances are not personal gifts. They don't count." But for this girl? They do!

    1. Hey, if your beloved knows you, then he knows what to give you. Sounds like that's the case here. So Happy Valentine's!

  3. Got no valentine! I do have a great daughter and brother and sister and their lovely spouses, just no valentine. sniff! I did get candy from a student's parent. She's such a nice woman.

    1. Hey, candy is good regardless of who sends it. *g*